But It Hurts… The pain of our childhood carries over into our relationships. Whether as daughters, we are determined not to be our mothers, or as sons, we are determined not to be our fathers. Before we realize it, we see that in so many ways we react just like them and that…hurts. No matter the background; rich, poor, or at one time middle-class, the pain of our parents are repeated in our own relationships, some knowingly and some unknowingly. Our subconscious mind is like a tape recorder. It records words without judgment. It is where we hold our emotions.
We are the product of our parents, guardians, and environment. When words or actions are embedded in our heart and mind, positively or negatively, it becomes a stamp in our subconscious. As we get older, we tend to react based on the stamp which is now posted on our hearts. We walk around with our feelings hurt for years wondering, “Why did this or that happened to me?” Or “This happened to me years ago, why am I still angry about it?” Then you realize that you are still holding on and not letting certain things go.
So now we come to the questions: What are you doing about it? What did you do about it? Why are you still holding on to it?
Some people turn to counseling for help. Let’s talk about that for a minute. Counseling is an excellent way to talk things out, if there is a solution or a positive result. But some people go to counseling for years and still never seem to just let it (whatever “it” is) go. But it hurts…. They cry and moan about what was done or not done to them without any resolution. The counselor is not there to give you all the answers. Their main purpose is to help you reach the answers that are deep within your being. It is best to go to counseling with an open mind and an objective for positive change or you are just paying a high price for a shoulder to cry on.
Your pain may be deep, but once you quiet your mind enough to listen, you will see light at the end of the tunnel. When you continue to ignore the pain of your past hurts, you develop a habitual pattern of negative behavior that is transferred to other relationships, friendships, and jobs. It’s like carrying baggage from one town to the next and never unpacking. Imagine that for a moment.
Some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Now we all know that this path can only lead to mere destruction. And yet some of us hold on to the pain so deeply that we give in to it. You know that this is habit forming. But it hurts… So you drown your sorrows for a season. Once that season is over you realize that your pain is still there. You feel worse now more than ever because you look around and notice that your loved ones are nowhere in sight. Was it worth it?
Some people just continue to change from one relationship to the next while blaming the other person. They change relationships like we change undergarments. They never stop to think, “What am I running from?” They find themselves in abusive situations. Whether they are the abuser or the one being abused and it is never ending. They truly want to change. But it hurts… At some point we must wake up.
Some people are so determined to have a better life that they find themselves focusing on the life ahead thinking, “If I don’t think about my past then it won’t affect me”; all the while the hurt and pain is right there waiting for the opportune moment to rear its ugly head. All you have done is create a mental block in the back of your mind to make you think you have surpassed your past. You show strength and power on the outside, but inwardly, you are weak and fragile. All it takes is one similar situation of your past to occur and you are back in your past again. Now you realize that you must be honest with yourself.
Not dealing with the past to resolve it is still holding on to it. You know this and you want to change. But it Hurts… We must change. No matter what path you traveled or are traveling, you have to not only let it (past hurts) go, but replace it. Conquering Heartache Activates Necessary Goals Easily. You will not have a successful future in your reaching goals and dreams if you continue to hold on to the past. We must erase the old tape in our subconscious mind and put new fresh positive thoughts of love, peace, joy, and harmony in its place.
You are the master of your thoughts. You have the power of life and death in your tongue. Choose to speak life. Being happy is a choice. Create a new you by affirming who you are and what you want to be. Pray with gratitude and appreciation not with begging for help from a place outside of you. The Divine power is within you. All you have to do to reach it is Maneuver Every Desired Impulse To Absolute Thought Everyday- MEDITATE. Take some time to yourself, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Step away from this world for a moment. Be consistent in your quest for positive change and develop habitual thoughts of love, joy, peace, and harmony. We live in a world where we have been told who we are, how to be, or what to be. Now is the time to search it out for yourself. Don’t just think outside the box. Dare to create your own. Once you connect with The Divine Power within you, there will be no stopping your prosperity, wealth, and success in all areas of your life. You are not alone. We all have to do the same. Get in touch with the God in you and you will hurt no more.
Guest Contributor:
Phara’s Voyce
